Watch Funny Face here:
Funny Face is a short I directed and co-wrote with my partner, Krista Fatka, about the time my country-singer brother, Charlie, flew from Texas to take care of me after my facial feminization surgery (FFS).
In real life, when I got FFS, Krista couldn’t help me post-operatively because she would be busy getting a temporary new face of her own, playing a troll in a national television commercial for Realtor.com.
The film premiered at SXSW 2023, played at over a dozen wonderful film festivals, and a little over a year later we are premiering the film today, along with an original song my brother wrote for it.
Krista, Charlie, and I play characters loosely based on ourselves. We’re joined onscreen by Marieve Herington and Sharon Zhang, and supported offscreen by a number of talented filmmakers and artists who are mainly dear friends. Funny Face was a joyful, meaningful collaboration between us all, and I hope you like it.
One of the most special contributions to the film was the song “Wish I Could Stay,” which Charlie composed and performed for the film. Charlie is a great singer and his band’s songs have appeared in big, fancy film and TV projects like The Rider and The OA. He released the studio version of “Wish I could Stay” today with his band, Charlie and the Regrets. You can listen below to this beautiful, sad song that still makes me cry even though I’ve heard it hundreds of times.
Charlie wrote, sang and played guitar. Mark Riddell played bass. Production by Charlie and Paul Beebe of Beebe Gunn Studios in Houston, TX.
Here’s the Spotify link:
Here it is on Apple Music:
Wish I Could Stay - Apple Music
And on the band site:
Getting a new face is painful and expensive. I’m still paying for mine. I spent 10 hours in surgery, removing most of my face from my skull, reshaping that now-exposed skull, and then re-attaching my face to this new, prettier skull with strategic nips and tucks to make the whole endeavor cohesive and pretty-ish.
This $50,000 interactive body-horror experience was, I’m duty-bound as a trans woman to point out, a privilege. It took me from a lantern-jawed, prominent-chinned person who looked to all but the most empathetic and loving souls like a man-in-a-dress to the androgynous enigma I am now.
Strangers literally never treated me like a woman before FFS. Now, 30-50% of the time, they do. But the fun, absolutely indulgent, glorious luxury of FFS is that I now can look in the mirror and see myself. What a gift after forty years of shaving, washing my face, and brushing my teeth in the inescapable company of a sad stranger.
I feel very lucky to be one of the tiny percentage of trans women who can put a new face on a credit card. But also, the months of pain and healing between swiping that card and getting that face absolutely fucking sucked.
It didn’t help that I spent the night of the surgery throwing up blood into plastic bags dispensed by a nurse who spent a lot of time attending to personal drama and never once gendered me correctly.
When I first started transitioning, I was warned about the connection I would lose to my biological family. More experienced queers told me not to worry, “chosen family” would close that gap. I hated hearing this. For me, the word “chosen” modified the word “family” in the same way the word “community” modifies the word “theater.” Don’t worry, Jude, it’s still your life! But, the lead roles will played by dental hygienists and insurance adjusters who did musicals in high school.
Then, I got a second brother in my new best friend. I got all the cousins I never had growing up in the never-short-for-drama trans community. And on Tinder, looking for people to hook up with, I accidentally found someone funny, talented, and brave who saw me like no one else did, made art with me, healed with me, and generally seemed like someone I’d loved in other lifetimes.
FFS brought my biological brother into my new life and connected him with part of my new family for a few special days where he and Krista bonded over their opposing viewpoints about cryptocurrency, we watched John Woo’s Face/Off together*, and I alternated between nodding out on weed and oxycontin and walking around the block looking like an animated cadaver. Charlie brought his guitar from Houston. Krista brought her troll face home from set. I brought home a 3D-printed model of my old, manlier jaw. It was special in the way things are only special when life stops: when someone is born, someone dies, or someone needs caring for.
When we made Funny Face, we tried to recreate that feeling, to bring our collaborators and our crew. I hoped that two days of gentle, loving art-making on set would expand that feeling of family a little further, maybe all the way to the screen. I hope that feeling makes its way to you. It’s a “community film” made by “chosen family.”
And, just to “put this into the universe,” as we do… This is an experience I’d like to recreate by applying this level of intimacy to bigger stories and more ambitious shoots. I love writing this Substack, and I’m not going to stop, but I have scripts, too, and I’d love to find the people who resonate with them.
If there’s anything better than spending time with artists making something special together, I don’t know what it is. I have a fancy MFA in directing, which, like my face, I’m still paying for. So, universe, gatekeepers, and high-net-worth individuals: more, please. And to all the people who have supported Funny Face with everything from hard work to kind words: thanks for being part of the family.
* I was really proud of how clever we were for this ironic movie choice and texted a trans girlfriend who’d already had FFS about it. She texted back: “Yeah. Everybody does that.”
This looks amazing and like something I can't watch at work. Look forward to seeing it at home with popcorn and a kleenex box.
Jude! This is so SO good. I laughed out loud and also got very emotional. What a beautiful, funny, tender, heartfelt film. Also, what a gorgeous song.